October 2020
On a late September morning, I came home to a house full of feathers. It became apparent there was some form of struggle between Leo the cat and the little bird in the photo above, which I later found hiding behind a Buddha statute in our library.
After putting on my bird catching gear (face shield, gloves, long sleeve shirt to cover my arms); I placed my hands on the poor little thing...it cried very loud until I carried him to the front door and set him free outside.
The experience of freeing a bird, felt good and liberating. As if I was liberating myself!
The series of events that followed this incident, clearly indicates that I’ve unlocked the cage for my own prison!
I can’t go into the details of what has transpired in my life since then, but the fear and the pounding of my heart was similar to that poor little bird. Not knowing that a big giant hand, is also picking me up and guiding me to freedom.
Like B (short for the little bird), the unfamiliar territory scares the ****t out of me. In the middle of being picked up and carried out to freedom, I am crying too, sometimes loud, I am reaching out to everything or anyone I can to feel safe, not realizing the hands of the giant is the safest place at the moment.
What I have been through last week, has been bittersweet. The sweet part was knowing, I am doing something right for having so much support from even total strangers. The bitter part has to do with realizing it’s time to fly, and height has never been my thing. Besides, change in your mid 50s is not as easy as you think!
I admire the little bird who accidentally ended up in our library. I don’t know what awaits me outside, but I know for sure the inside world is no longer safer than outside. (With Leo the cat, and no Buddha statute to hide behind metaphorically!)
It’s time to fly, and when it’s time...it’s time...and one always knows the moment!
AMBKJ